High and Dry

C: So, how do you do it?

T: I have no fucking clue.

This was the last conversation I had with an old friend which got me into thinking for weeks now. How the hell do we do it? When you’re a couple and you’ve been together for years; how do you stay in love? After the kids and all the blunders; do you still see him as the person you’ve fallen in love with? Maybe it’s a yes, or no. But really, how do couples do it? Some do it for the kids’ sake. But what if you’re not married and you don’t have kids? What if one day you woke up and realized that you don’t have the same values anymore? What if you’ve changed and you are not that sane person anymore? How do you keep it when you’re jaded?

You go back where it all started. You try to remember the good things. And from there, you try to remind each other of the good times you’ve had and how you used to treat each other. You muse over your courtship stage sans all the drama.

Think about your kids and your family. When you’re older, you become less selfish, so sometimes even if you’re tired of being in a relationship, you try to work it out. That’s what being a parent is about. It’s not about you anymore.

Talk. It wouldn’t help if you’ll just keep it in. When you’re having domestic problems, initially, you talk to your husband. You try to solve your problems amongst yourselves. If it fails, you seek help from your parents or friends and ask for relationship advice.

Given that you’re financially capable, go on out of town trips. It’s fun to learn new things with your spouse, be it an overnighter or a weeklong trip.  

Do something out of the box. Let’s face it, when you’re in a long term relationship, you will get bored every once in a while. When it’s starting to feel like a chore, take action and do something about it. It can be a romantic dinner just the two of you, unplanned road trips or dressing up for a nice dinner at home; the possibilities are endless! All you have to do is do something you’re not accustomed to, and maybe, just maybe, get a little crazy. It’s fun!

And you have to remember the four golden words: listen, compromise, repair and gratitude.

Oh, I'm not so clueless after all. So yeah, maybe, it is working.

Obrigado!

Our camp’s about to end in just a few more days and I can’t hide my excitement because I’ll get to have some quality R&R with the boys this whole summer vacation. I really miss being a stay-at-home mom. And it’s a good thing that our nanny will have a 3-month long vacation too. Maybe I can start writing again. Or I don’t know, do something out of the box.

So here’s to beach trips and spontaneous getaways! Cheers!

Hello, Twenty Twelve!

I feel so sorry because I’ve totally neglected this blog. The past few months have been a hell of a roller coaster ride. You see, after my last post, I received a call from my boss in school; they want me to teach again because there’s a new camp (which means more students hence more teachers). It’s again, one of those “universe-conspiring” things that led me into doing what I do. It’s weird because we’re that close to getting rid of our nanny so I can just stay at home and take care of the kids. But since it’s just a temporary thing, I decided to accept the teaching gig instead. Money to save and of course, its teaching and I couldn’t resist it.

Similarly, I had another “universe-playing tricks on me” all over again. A year before last year, we had to take care of our little one because he contracted Rotavirus so we were confined inside the four corners of the room. It happened again. But the good thing about it is; he contracted a viral infection. Nothing serious, it’s not dengue although we got paranoid because his fever has been up-down for the last three days and he hasn’t been eating well, so a day after New Year’s Day, we went to Asian Hospital to have his blood checked. He’s okay now. A bit cranky but his appetite’s back. At this point, my husband and I were talking about what’s going to happen next New Year’s Eve and according to him, we must be outstandingly ready. Oh well, I think we’ll just stay in our house and do a major house sanitizing before New Year’s Day. Cleaning is like spiritual cleansing to me. So, yeah, I’m gonna be ready.

For 2011, I was thankful for a lot of things. I found a job that I love. I was able to meet new friends because of work. I’m grateful for free concerts and out of town trips. I’m thankful for friends, but moreover, I’m thankful for loyal friends. I’m starting to unearth my inner peace, although bit by bit, I’m getting there. I smiled a lot last year, not an easy thing to do especially when you’re a semi-neurotic freak like me, but still, I tried to be happy. I celebrated the best Christmas dinner. It was a stress-free and meatless pig-out feast. I couldn’t be any happier because I celebrated it with the most important people in my life.

I told myself last year that I’m gonna own 2011. It’s been a hell of a roller coaster ride-- ups-downs and everything in between. But I’m grateful, I really am. I’ve learned so much from last year and I resolve to make this year, if not the best, better than before.

I'm Officially A Mom Without A Nanny!

I have to start making puppets or if I get too lazy to make a DIY, I need to buy some soon. Polie’s crazy about his stuffed animals talking to each other (Mom and Dad do the talking, of course)! He’s growing up so fast and so smart! He knows what lotion to put on his arms and legs upon waking up, what vitamins to take at a certain time and oh, he already recognizes different colours too! In three months, it’ll be his birthday again. I already planned for his ‘multiple’ parties, just small celebrations with my family, Pao’s parents, and our friends. I can’t wait!

Christmas is just around the corner! It feels like the first time to be celebrating this season with my loved ones. I’m really looking forward to celebrating it with my family and our close friends.

Plus I’m officially a stay at home Mom without a nanny! I’m quitting work after months and months of deliberation. It’s hard, no, especially if your mind isn’t sane. It’s true what they say; being mom is still the best (and hardest) job in the world! But the feeling that you get from seeing your kids grow up and just being with them every single day is priceless.

Postcard Lovin'

I pride like myself for having the ability to forgive easily. I’m pride-less, really. It’ll always come to a point that when I’m being accused of something and even if it’s not entirely my fault (and have no fucking idea what it’s about), I’d still apologize for I don’t know “supposedly” my blunder or some sort. I tend to please people because I’m terrified of people being mad at me. But there comes a point in your life that you get tired, and then, you realize that there’s really no point of doing it. So you stick to those who matters and who always will. I suck at change but hey at least I’m doing something about it.

And I’m digging these random acts of kindness I’m getting; like overseas phone calls from one of my best friends and a random message from a person I used to stalk asking me if “everything’s alright” (totally unlikely). Oh yes! Random things make me happy.   

I love getting postcards (and letters too)! If you’re a stranger in a faraway land, send me some postcard love and I promise to write back. We can talk about books, arts, music and food (or the beach and night skies)! I never had pen pals overseas; you’ll make the inner child in me truly happy. Leave a comment here with your email and postal address or shoot me an email. Thank you so much in advance! 

100 Day Photo Challenge: Day 29

What makes me smile?

Saturday mornings with the kids.

And grocery shopping with the hubby. :)

100 Day Photo Challenge: Day 28

Day 28: Something you're afraid of
(w/ 6mo old Polie)

I’m not afraid of failure, actually, I’m soooo used to it already. I’m afraid of feeling that I’m a failure as a mother. I had to work ASAP after giving birth to Polie because we need all the financial backing I could get from my job. He was barely 2mos old when I decided to go back to work. He’s 1 yr and 8mos now and I still lack confidence if I’m being a good mom to him. Some days are really hard (like today); it’s frustrating and depressing to see that he’d rather be with his yaya than be with me. I don’t know but it was so much easier when I was younger (or maybe because I have no yaya that time to feel so insecure about). Baby steps, I know I’m getting there!