C: So, how do you do it?
T: I have no fucking clue.
This was the last conversation I had with an old friend which got me into thinking for weeks now. How the hell do we do it? When you’re a couple and you’ve been together for years; how do you stay in love? After the kids and all the blunders; do you still see him as the person you’ve fallen in love with? Maybe it’s a yes, or no. But really, how do couples do it? What if one day you woke up and realized that you don’t have the same values anymore? What if you’ve changed and you are not that sane person anymore? How do you keep it when you’re jaded?
You go back where it all started. You try to remember the good things. And from there, you try to remind each other of the good times you’ve had and how you used to treat each other. You muse over your courtship stage sans all the drama.
Think about your kids and your family. When you’re older, you become less selfish, so sometimes even if you’re tired of being in a relationship, you try to work it out. That’s what being a parent is about. It’s not about you anymore.
Talk. It wouldn’t help if you’ll just keep it in. When you’re having domestic problems, initially, you talk to your husband. You try to solve your problems amongst yourselves. If it fails, you seek help from your parents or friends and ask for relationship advice.
Given that you’re financially capable, go on out of town trips. It’s fun to learn new things with your spouse, be it an overnighter or a weeklong trip.
Do something out of the box. Let’s face it, when you’re in a long term relationship, you will get bored every once in a while. When it’s starting to feel like a chore, take action and do something about it. It can be a romantic dinner just the two of you, unplanned road trips or dressing up for a nice dinner at home; the possibilities are endless! All you have to do is do something you’re not accustomed to, and maybe, just maybe, get a little crazy. It’s fun!
And you have to remember the four golden words: listen, compromise, repair and gratitude.
Oh, I'm not so clueless after all. So yeah, maybe, it is working.